Well... I didn't make it. I didn't even last an hour!
On Friday I said I would attempt to spend the day without criticizing, putting down, or otherwise showing 'negativity' towards other people... I would attempt the challenge I gave to one of my kids.
This morning started like most others, hitting the snooze button a bazillion more times than I should, and finally crawling out of bed, much later than I should. The only good news is that the only one I could be critical of was myself, because there wasn't anyone else at home! So keeping the challenge during this time was pretty easy, and led me into a false sense of "this is going to be a piece of cake."
The drive to work was also mostly uneventful, nobody to road rage against (
BTW: You have to read Limpy's story), and no traffic tie ups. The only issue was the stupid idiot on the radio! Not the talk show host, he is his own special brand of idiot, the caller.
So, less than 60 minutes into my 24 hour challenge I am screaming at the radio... After venting, I realized no one could really hear my criticism so does it count if no one hears it? I decided to not count that episode. I went to work and "hid" in my cube, trying hard to not talk to anyone.
I immediately got into my work, and within minutes I am cursing myself, and the person before me that worked on this project... Of course it was under my breath, so that didn't count either... Right?
I ate lunch alone. Lunch is usually the big "gripe" session of the day, as a bunch of us go out and whine about the boss, the company, fellow co-workers, or other work politics. So I had "officially" made it up to lunch time without actually criticizing anyone that could hear me.
I made it until about 15 minutes before the end of day. My cubicle neighbor came over for a visit to grouse about his ex-wife, and that stirred the pot. Within minutes I am sharing stories, and telling him that his "ex" has got problems... Oops... I slipped... I criticized openly... Of course he wasn't aware of my challenge, so did it really count?
The discussion continued until after the end of the work day, and the conversation lead to other situations besides my cube neighbor's ex... And each topic was quickly enhanced with my critical comments... I justified the whole colorful conversation because he didn't know about the challenge....
I went home, picked up my kids, and as soon as my son got in the car he asked... "How was your day?"... I could have lied and said "Great", but instead I changed the subject, so I avoided that one. Then my youngest came out with a stain above her upper lip... I told her that her face was dirty and that she needed to wash her face... Is it a criticism when you are being a parent and making sure your kids are clean? Justification?
I took my youngest to the
library for a
Dr. Seuss Celebration, and started chatting with the librarian. She was mostly positive, but started complaining about the funding for the library, and her short staff... I agreed... Is agreeing with someone else's criticism, criticizing?
Who am I kidding... I can't do it! I couldn't even make it 60 minutes, let alone 24 hours!
I used to be this skinny geeky kid in high school, and now I am this geeky, not so skinny adult. I used to hate talking in front of a group, now I do it all the time. I used to be shy and socially backward, now I can and do talk to just about anyone (still a little afraid to talk to my boss, but that's another story).
I used to exercise and be active, now I eat fast food, and sit all day in front of a computer... Not that I am fat or anything, just extremely out of shape!
I used to be driven to do the best I could at whatever I was doing... Best at my job, school, life, whatever... Now after years of trying and not getting where I want, I don't try as hard... I have been worn down. Yep... The biggest change of all... I am getting old.
Somewhere in the last decade I became middle aged. Which of course means I still have many, many years in front of me, but I guess I realized somewhere along the way, that I am not a kid any longer... (sigh).
